What happens when we talk? The in and out, the back and forth, the up and down. What's it all mean?
Often when we speak, there are opportunities to give credit, ask questions, and portray confidence. We long for people to like us, believe us, and support us. We work toward that in many ways, but what does it look in conversation?
Part of the dynamic in conversations has to do with building ourselves up so that others will like, believe, and support us. This can be done through the "one up, one down."
I accept a compliment and do not return it.
I emphasize that I was correct.
I interpret your questions as if it means that I know more.
Each of these actions raises me and lowers you. I am up and you are down. Through this, I believe that now others will like me more, since I'm really good. Or believe me more, cause I was right. Or support me more, because I have more knowledge.
But does it work?
Maybe in the short-run. I may gain people who like, believe, and support me for now.
In the long-run though, I don't think I come out ahead. People will realize I am a taker and not giver. There will be times that I am wrong. And if I will not ask questions, eventually my own knowledge and experience will dwindle.
So in my conversations, I need to be both up and down.